I would give anything not to have lost our first two babies but through all of the sadness, there are moments when I can see the silver linings. Despite trying to conceive for five months, when we first discovered that we were expecting in January 2013, I think the boy and I both had an few scared moments when we realised that our lives as we know them would never be the same. After getting over the devastation of the first miscarriage, we found that we really appreciated being able to do things which we had previously taken for granted (and which we won’t be able to do when we finally have a baby). Spontaneous post work drinks, weekend camping trips with the dogs and cross country bike rides all have greater importance now that we appreciate that the time during which we can do these things is (hopefully) limited.
We have also been able to book a holiday of a lifetime which would not have been possible if we had had our September baby. The boy had long talked about wanting to photograph the autumn colours in Boston and New Hampshire and I have a fondness for US holidays (there is something more relaxing about holidaying somewhere where you can speak the language). So a few weeks ago when we got home from the hospital following my second ERPC, we took the plunge and booked a 9 day trip around Boston and New Hampshire for October this year. I cannot wait!
When you are trying to start a family it can often feel as if life is put on hold but I am trying hard to focus on the now and to appreciate the things which are currently possible. Hopefully we can keep experiencing little adventures as a family of two whilst we wait for our life as a family of three to begin.