Facebook

I’m a bit of a Facebook addict. I probably check it for updates on what friends and family are doing two or three times a day but despite this I wasn’t prepared for the sight which greeted me yesterday morning when I did my usual morning check whilst in the office having my morning tea.

I remember a few years ago when it seemed like everyone’s profile picture was a hand sporting a big sparkly rock or a bride in her big white dress. I did it too and I imagine for my single friends it must have been rather depressing to have a daily remainder of how seemingly everyone else is in a serious relationship except you.

Well for the last 12 months there has been a bit of a baby boom in my social circle but yesterday morning the first five (yes FIVE) posts were photos of new born babies who have all been born to close friends in just the last week! I stared at the screen in disbelief. I’ve obviously known they were pregnant but I have lots of connections on Facebook that I never expected there would come a time where there would be five sleeping newborns filling my morning newsfeed without even an advert or candy crush update interspersed. I sat, stared, took a deep breath trying to reassure myself that by this time next year it would be our turn and then added congratulatory messages under each photo. Then just as I was about to log off a ‘new post’ message appeared. I clicked on it and up popped another friend’s 12 week scan picture!!

Sometimes I wish that Facebook was used to share all life events rather than just good ones. I’m sure that I have lots of friends who also see baby and scan photos and have to steel themselves to not get hot prickly red eyes from holding back the tears. Thankfully I can counteract Facebook with reading my blog feed. Comforting posts of people’s two week waits, latest test results, temp updates, hormone injections and egg retrievals. And when they do finally have good news to share of getting into a new IVF trial, getting good betas or even seeing a little heartbeat on a scan, I don’t feel despair but hope that good outcomes don’t just happen for those who don’t try. This difficult journey can be worth it in the end and one day the baby photos filling the Facebook news feed might actually be mine!

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4 thoughts on “Facebook

  1. You’ve written this beautifully. I’m so sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage, I really am. Being 14 weeks pregnant myself, I know the gut wrenching feelings you go through just trying to make it through the first trimester hoping the baby will be okay. I can only imagine what it would have been like for you being on the receiving end of bad news. My heart goes out to you. I really hope that seeing your friends babies, scans etc can also give you that hope that next year it really could be you. And when it is, just think of how completely amazing it will be ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

  2. Facebook is tough sometimes, but you’re right reading blogs does help. I feel joy when I read about a pregnancy on the blogs and it gives me hope! You will have your time to fill up the newsfeed soon. What a wonderful thought- by this time next year… It’s so hard to picture a week out sometimes. Great post! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Sorry for that rude awakening. You can always count of facebook to twist the knife. After my loss in 2012 I had to distance myself from facebook because it was too depressing to me to see pregnancy and baby related photos and news from other people. When I finally ventured back earlier this year I was greeted by a pregnancy announcement of a co-worker. I still have an account but I rarely check it and I’ve told people that to private message me if there is something they want me to see since I don’t check my news feed most of the time. Maybe this will help you?

  4. Thanks for sharing this! I know how that feels. Sometimes it is really hard to have enough ‘good will and cheer’ for everyone when you are fighting this battle. But good for you for digging deep! I think blogs help, too. I don’t feel the same little dig in my heart for their good news. Maybe b/c they get the struggle. And their victory is all of ours…gives us hope!

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