Charlotte or Harry?

As I near what would have been my first due date I find myself wondering, would my baby have been a Harry or a Charlotte? I know it’s a little strange to have baby names already decided but i think my husband and I have known what we are going to call our future children since we first had a conversation about it only a few months after we met.

When I think about what they might have been I don’t feel particularly sad or anxious about the future, just curious. I’m glad I don’t know as I think it would make it all seem more real. I could look at friends’ babies and imagine mine bring like that if I knew what sex they were. Instead I feel like I lost pregnancies, potential babies, rather than actual children that had a gender and a name. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering……

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