A good day or something bigger?

It might just be because I’m having a good day and things could come crashing down again soon but I feel like I might have turned a corner in the healing process. A couple of days ago it was our first “would have been due date” and I was worried that I might become an emotional wreck, but I didn’t. To be honest it didn’t feature particularly heavily in my thoughts that day, and it hasn’t since. The boy and I are having a lovely day today, we’ve been for a cycle in the sunshine and lunch with wine at the local farmers market. Tonight we’re out with friends of a curry and on the way we’re going to stop by some friends to meet their new born. And I’m actually quite excited. For months I’ve had to steal myself to see pregnant friends and babies but I’m starting to feel joy again at the prospect of seeing them, hearing their pregnancy stories and having baby cuddles. It might be because our long awaited holiday is now in touching distance but whatever the reason, I’m actually starting to feel like my old self again. I haven’t lost sight of our goal but I feel like I’m moving out of the grey post miscarriage fog that I’ve been stuck in for the last six months. I’m not going to get ahead of myself as my moods can be a little unpredictable. I really hope that this is a sign of things to come but even if it isn’t today at least is a good day!

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