All that it takes


We’re back after our holiday and so far I’m managing to stave off the post holiday blues. It might be different when I walk back into the office tomorrow morning but until then I’m still on holiday so I’m not letting work thoughts enter my head.

The break was fantastic. Hubby and I definitely needed this time away to regroup and to remember that there are lots of good things in our lives even if it can feel a little overwhelming at times. The Fall colours were looking way better than we were expecting as we’d thought we were a bit early but everything was looking fabulous and we seemed to divide our time between photography walks, scrumptious dinners and swimming in beautiful pools. I also managed to get hubby on a horse which was very amusing.

We hardly spoke about trying to conceive while we were away and although we were at it like bunnies for most of the time, it felt like we were honeymooners again and not a tired frustrated couple timing intercourse to ovulation. If having lots of sex is all that it takes to make a baby then we should be a shoe in this month! I’ve been around enough to know that there is a whole lotta luck needed too so fingers crossed Lady Luck will also be on our side.

The holiday did bring up one issue which has been on my mind for a while but I decided not to discuss it with the boy – alcohol. The boy and I like a drink. We’re not heavy drinkers but enjoy a glass of wine with dinner and I’ve been struggling with how this fits with trying to conceive. I don’t drink when I know (or think that I might be) pregnant but I do still indulge in a glass of wine or two during the two week wait. I know that in a perfect world I wouldn’t do this and would turn my body into a baby making temple but I can’t help but feel that 9 months of pregnancy plus months of breast feeding is going to be long enough to be a t-totaller without adding months (and possibly years) onto the beginning. So far it doesn’t seem like having a few occasional drinks has stopped me from conceiving as my first two pregnancies were fairly quick (although the first time took 5 months which felt like forever but I know that its actually pretty average). This leaves me wondering if having a couple of glasses of wine during my two week wait contributed to miscarriages but my doctor has said it wouldn’t be related.

So I guess what I’m left pondering is (i) should I stop doing something I enjoy to increase my chances of a successful pregnancy? (ii) Would it actually increase my chances at all as I’m not exactly a binge drinker? (iii) Does the fact that I’m asking myself these questions mean that I’m not a hundred percent committed to having a baby otherwise I’d be prepared to walk to the ends of the earth to achieve my goal and giving up a glass of wine with dinner would be a no brainer?

4 thoughts on “All that it takes

  1. That’s tough and I often stay away from alcohol during the TWW. My husband always reminds me of the friends we have who were trashed before they found out they were pregnant and they were fine. He also says that if I had wine more often perhaps I’d actually relax a little and it’d be good for me. However, I have had 3 miscarriages and every time I had avoided alcohol like the plague. I don’t think anything you’re doing is causing your miscarriages. My mom was a drug and alcohol addict and she had 4 healthy children. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know that there are many opinions on this topic, but like I said I had no alcohol during the TWW and I’ve had 3 miscarriages.

  2. This was a big one for me too. Hubby and I both like out wine. I spoke it through with my therapist and what she said is do what makes you feel happy. Everything in moderation. So I had a glass of wine with dinner once or twice a week until my body told me it didn’t want any. Even after I knew I was pregnant. With my previous miscarriage I had been off alcohol for the whole month if TTC as well as from the moment we found out until the night the MC was confirmed. The slightly more relaxed way this time has definitely left me feeling better about everything.

  3. I absolutely don’t think any of this means you aren’t committed, but I have the same thoughts. I usually keep to at most 1 drink at a time during the tww, then stop drinking anything around 5-7 dpo. I do feel like I need to prove how bad I want it or I won’t ‘deserve’ it, but I also need to not feel like I’m giving up my normal life too much.

  4. I often ask myself the same questions, but in my case it’s about overall diet. Infertility is incredibly stressful. Take away the few joys in life – the occasional glass of wine or death-by-chocolate cheesecake – and it feels even worse. IF (and that’s a huge IF) 100% alcohol abstinence would guarantee a baby, I have no doubt that you would do it, without a pause. But that isn’t the case.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s