Well AF has saved me a few more days of symptom spotting. Despite the marathon baby making mission in Boston, this month is not our month. And I’m a bit (lot) gutted!
To add to the emotions that I’m feeling today, I’m confused about my cycle. This is the third full cycle since my last miscarriage and it is the shortest yet (only 25 days) which is made all the more strange by coming one month after the longest (29 days). I’m sure it’s just my frustration at another month passing which is making me question whether there is a problem but I’m wondering if I’ve got an incomplete D&C or some other issue which is preventing me from conceiving and screwing up my cycle.
In any other area of my life if something was bothering me this much I’d consult an expert but as This Child’s Mom (sorry I can’t seem to blog link on my phone) was saying in her blog earlier today, medical professionals seem to treat everyone the same regardless of their history. I feel like I deserve some sympathy and understanding and to be offered a scan to prove that all is ok down there and to confirm that I’m just being neurotic (which I probably am). But I can’t face seeing my GP as I know she’ll pretend to be understanding but will just fob me off with a line, pat me on the head and tell me to go away and not come back for at least six months. So instead I’m going to go home, probably cry on my husband, pour a large glass of wine (well I can without worrying now as its not as if I’m pregnant) and tomorrow I’ll be back to Googling “How to improve your chances of conceiving” and over analysing every element of my life.
Oh well maybe it’s time that I got that box of OPKs out of the cupboard and finally order myself a Basel thermometer. If I’m going to become obsessed with trying to conceive I may as well go the whole hog, that way when I finally go to the GP I can be armed with pages and pages of charts and then she’ll really know who she’s dealing with!