Driving myself insane already

So this is my day so far following on from my BFP (or rather my little and slightly faint but still five days early positive) yesterday:

  • Woke up and thought that it would be good to take another test thinking that it would make me feel more confident if I could see that the line was getting darker.
  • Disclosed that I had used the last First Response test yesterday so decided to use a cheap test instead, reasoning that it would give me a benchmark line which I could then compare against tomorrow.
  • Took cheap test and got a BFN. Squinted at it for a bit trying to convince myself that there was a VERY faint line but I couldn’t decide if there really was of if it was my mind playing tricks.
  • Cursed myself for using a cheap test when I am still four days before what would be the first day of my next cycle. ]
  • Decided that the only way to stop myself from going mad (as if I’m not mad enough already) would be to take another First Response test.
  • Walked that 35 minutes to the shop to buy said test on my way to work.
  • Went to test at work only to discover that I didn’t need to wee – AT ALL.
  • Drank three cups of (decaf) tea in the space of an hour whilst worrying that drinking too much liquid would give a false result.
  • Finally I was able to take the First Response test and I left it upside down for a good five minutes whilst pacing around the toilet cubical refusing to look at it for fear of the answer.
  • Figuring that I might also get a false result if I left it for too long, I finally looked at the test and it was a BFP and darker than yesterday’s one.
  • Breathed a sigh of relief and concluded that I need to chill out or I might actually go mad before I even stand a chance of getting to 12 weeks!
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4 thoughts on “Driving myself insane already

  1. Hugs my friend! You’ll be ok! I totally get what you are going through. When I got my BFP a couple months ago I went way further than you – I took myself to the lab every 3 days to get my bloods tested! My doc came back from leave and told me I had to stop testing! Bloody expensive exercise as only one test was covered by my insurance. At least HPTs are cheaper.

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