Jealous and bitter

I’m becoming a bitter old witch. I’ve tried to stop it, and when I’m not so tired I consciously try to see the silver lining and think happy thoughts. But today I am tired and when another friend announced the arrival of her baby which was conceived only a couple of months after her wedding and which she had given OUR girl’s name to (yep I’m in one of those moods) I wanted to scream. 17 babies in 17 months and countless more on the way. I want to be happy for them but in all honestly I’m jealous and bitter and angry that I’m in this situation. It wasn’t meant to be this way!!

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5 thoughts on “Jealous and bitter

  1. Hun, I can completely relate. I’m having a particularly down day too. I’ve got a friend who’s due date was yesterday. She conceived on her FIRST cycle trying and since she announced her pregnancy I have lost TWO babies. She has no idea what it’s like to suffer, lives a particularly privileged life. I have another FIVE friends and a SIL all due with their perfect first pregnancies within weeks of my FIFTH pregnancy due date. It makes me so ANGRY that we have to sit and watch this all happen before our eyes, so helpless, without any control. I wish I could fix this for you, for me, for our little community. So please know you are not alone. Allow the bitterness to flow. It’s the only way to healing. Thinking of you and sending love xxx

  2. Ever since I lost my baby I can relate. When I see a pregnant belly, I think to myself, why did they get to keep their baby and mine had to die? I’ll admit I’m jealous, though I don’t wish a loss on them, I just wish that I was still in their shoes. Sending you some big hugs and some reassurance – it is definitely okay to feel this way sometimes. 🙂

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