So I tested again. Today is 12 or 13 DPO I’m not entirely sure as my OPK gave me a pretty dark line and so I took that as O and didn’t do one the next day (when it definitely could have been darker).
As you can see the bottom line (taken 24 hours after the top) is a tiny bit darker but they are still super faint. I had hoped for a more definite yes. An actual big fat positive rather than a small, lightly coloured, possibly, but I’m going to try to feel positive. I definitely have my usual symptoms (nausea, excess saliva and buzzy feeling down there) which I’m taking as a good sign. I just so want this to work out. If it fails (even really early as a chemical pregnancy) I’ll still need to get referred back to the molar pregnancy centre to check that the hormones haven’t awoken the molar beast and that would delay being able to try again.
Tomorrow the boy and I are off for a weekend spa break (swimming only for me) to celebrate our second wedding anniversary so I’m going to try not to obsessively fret all weekend.
I’ve never been a particularly religious or spiritual person but the boy’s nan (a really lovely women who was very excited about our first pregnancy (we didn’t tell about the others)) passed away this week shortly before I got the BFP and over the last few days I’ve been wearing her necklace and silently asking her for some help this time. I’m skeptical but we need all the help we can get and I know she’d help us if she can.
So today I’m going to try to be positive. I’ll test again after the weekend (or maybe tomorrow as I am developing a POAS habit). I can’t believe how much of my life is spent peeing on plastics sticks (FRER or OPK) and obsessing over the darkness of the line.