A new problem

You would think that four miscarriages would be enough of a problem but we appear to have a new problem which is threatening our chances of becoming parents. The boy is struggling to orgasm when we have sex and I don’t know what to do about it. I ovulated yesterday so if we are going to have any chance this cycle we really need to be having sex but this morning’s attempt didn’t cross the finish line (this isn’t the first time) and I don’t know whether we should try again or just write off this cycle to give the boy a chance to forget about today.

When faced with this issue, is it better to get back on the proverbial horse as soon as possible with the hope of being successful and banishing the negative thoughts or do we run the risk of another failed attempt which only compounds the problem further? Everything I’ve read says that we need to keep sex lighthearted and fun and spontaneous but how do we achieve that when there is a 15 minute window at 5.30am before we both leave for insanely long days at work. It’s not like we can wait until the weekend. I ovulated on Monday so it will be game over long before Saturday morning arrives. This is another reason why I hate being told to just ‘try again’. We’ve been trying almost continuously for 2 years, have had 4 miscarriages and neither of us are getting any younger. I’m so frustrated I could scream (and will invariably cry at some point today which will further increase my reputation as the office neurotic) 😦

6 thoughts on “A new problem

  1. No easy answers…boy may need a chance to forget about today but my heart goes out to you both! No chance you guys could get up a little early and get freaky in the shower? Or meet up mid-day for some hot hotel loving?! Change of venue or change of pace? Dont want to get too much TMI here. We got a lot of pressure from our original OB to “try try again” after our first miscarriage because of how fertile you are… sounds like you need a good release too!! Crying can help but I really feel your frustration! Can you guys schedule a window of “sick” time for you both so everyone can go into the office late?! I just want to find some easy time for you guys!! If it were only that easy…

  2. My DH would sometimes have trouble finishing if he knew that it was “that” time. I guess just too much pressure to pressure to perform. I’m sorry…I know how frustrating that is, not only for him, but for you too. That window of opportunity seems so small, doesn’t it? That’s a lot of pressure to time intercourse just perfectly so that sperm can meet egg, but if there’s no sperm waiting to meet the egg, that’s doubly frustrating. I actually cried on my DH one night when he couldn’t finish. It hurt his feelings so badly, but I couldn’t help myself. We just put too much pressure on ourselves to get pregnant right away, esp after a loss. We know we shouldn’t, but if you’re like me, you can’t help it! Thinking of you often. Praying things will get better soon. XO

    • Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. I felt like crying earlier but knew it wouldn’t help. Hopefully it won’t happen again soon x

  3. Honey, this sucks a lot. I hate that we have to just force sex at these weird times because we aren’t lucky enough to just need a bottle of Boone’s Farm. I know that if baby was dependent on my performing, there sure wouldn’t be any babies. I hope that something starts going right for you guys! Thinking of y’all!

  4. My husband, being a urologist, deals with this a lot with patients… Have you considered him seeing a doctor? They could at least rule out if it’s physical or emotional. Just an idea. Very hard to deal with, I’m so sorry. Maybe he’s just feeling a lot of pressure to perform with all the stress both of you are under right now. I’ll be keeping you both in my prayers.

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