Bruised Banana’s latest blog made me realise that I’ve been absent from my blog recently. At my last blog I was 24 weeks pregnant and experiencing a small amount of bleeding. I did provide an update to say that all was ok but I’ve realised that the update was in the comments not the blog itself.
Thankfully the bleeding seems to have been minor and although it’s happened a few times since it hasn’t been problematic. Fingers crossed this doesn’t change.
I have continued to read and comment on blogs but I’ve found it difficult to know what to say about myself. I’m 28 weeks pregnant now and all seems to be going well. We still haven’t bought much stuff for the baby as it feels like tempting fate but I am starting to believe that we will get our baby in February.
I will continue to provide periodic updates but don’t seem to be able to do the weekly updates which lots of pregnant bloggers do. The truth is I’m finding pregnancy hard. I feel like my body isn’t mine, I still feel sick every morning and struggle to get comfortable at night. I still worry every time I use the toilet and hope for no blood and I can’t stop worrying about early labour or still birth. I have experience of bad things happening and can’t stop worrying that something will go wrong again.
All that sounds a bit negative but I promise I’m really happy to be pregnant and really looking forward to being a mummy. RPL will always be part of my life but I’m hoping that the memories of my losses will soon sit alongside memories of a successful pregnancy and life as mother. For those still going through RPL, I know how hard it is to keep trying and how hard it is to read about other people being pregnant but I hope that my story can show that unexplained RPL can lead to a successful pregnancy.