When did people become so sensitive? 

In the last month I’ve read countless articles along the same theme; “Don’t ask me if I’m going to try for a girl/boy, third child, when I’m going to get married / co-habit / start dating, when I’m  going to have a first baby?” etc. 

As a person who suffered four miscarriages before having my baby, I understand from personal experience that in certain circumstances answering those questions can be painful. There were times I thought I’d burst into tears when strangers enquired whether I had any children whilst I was still suffering the physical affects of a failed pregnancy. 

For me, the children question was a painful one to answer. But the same is true of almost any question. “What did you have for lunch?” can be painful if you have an eating disorder. “Where do you live?” can be painful if you’ve recently had to move as the result of a divorce or financial problems. The people asking the questions aren’t trying to offend and I doubt they even care about the answer. They’re just trying to make friendly conversation. If people don’t stop being so frightfully sensitive the only legitimate form of conversation will be to talk about the weather, or worse, saying nothing at all. With loneliness becoming a modern epidemic, we should be encouraging small talk not making people go about in silence for fear of inadvertently offending. 

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One thought on “When did people become so sensitive? 

  1. For me, it’s not so much the question being asked as it’s the response I get when I tell them the truth…that I would love to have children but I’ve had 3 miscarriages and we are not having a lot of luck. Most people stammer out an apology, shut down and change the subject. I often wonder if I should just say “someday” but I find that I hate hiding what has happened to me. If you can’t handle and answer and be supportive then you shouldn’t ask the question (in any situation). I think we as a society need to do a better job responding to sad or shocking news (in all aspects, not just miscarriage). Alas, I don’t thing this will happen anytime soon but maybe by sharing sad things we can start to change that culture. I think my response got a bit off topic but I think your post brings up a good point and I felt compelled to comment.

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