94 days ago I wrote a post about when and whether to try again for another baby. And today I got a BFP. If I’m honest it hasn’t really sunk in yet. I wasn’t going to test as my period isn’t even due until Monday but I woke up at 4am this morning feeling quite sick and couldn’t shake the feeling that it could be morning sickness. I told myself I was being stupid but knowing I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at work I decided to buy a test on my way to the office to prove to myself it was negative so I could get on with my busy day at work. Before the test had even finished changing the cross had appeared and so many emotions came over me. Excitement, fear, joy and apprehension all at once.
I waited until I got home from work to tell my husband and he is also feeling cautiously optimistic. I know I should take it a day at a time but I find it impossible after a BFP. Instantly I’m calculating the due date, working out when I’d be 8 weeks, 12 weeks etc. whilst at the same time reminding myself that there are no guarantees and that I might not even be pregnant tomorrow let alone months from now.
So for now we wait. And wonder. And try not to worry (too much).